Nope, I’m not dead. But this almost was.

I’m taking a break from slackerdom to show my face. Or my keyboard anyway. It has been a while. I could rattle off a legitimate list of excuses. But what it boils down to, is two things: Taking on too many things at once (surprise surprise), and sickness (some for me and a lot for Monkey).

Last week can only be described as a week of hell. I won’t even go into all the details, but I will tell you how I went out with a bang on Saturday. It involved three things.

Exhibit A: My favorite sweatshirt. Warm, cozy, comfortable, and of course it has ‘Dunder Mifflin’ on the front, from my favorite show. I love the big pocket in front. Perfect for keeping my hands warm, or holding stuff I want to keep handy like keys or my phone.

Exhibit B: My cell phone

So far so good, right? Well it gets better. Just wait for Exhibit C. The loo.

See where this is going?

We were visiting my parents, & I had to use the bathroom. I lifted my sweatshirt to unbutton my pants. Out jumped my cell phone, and before I knew it my hand was in the bottom of the toilet going after it. It all happened before I could even think. If I weren’t so grossed out, I’d be proud of my fast reaction.

Unfortunately, my dad is a “If it’s yellow let it mellow” type of guy. And I’m an anal freakazoid with OCD, who had to scrub my hand until the remaining flesh was hanging on for dear life.

Miraculously, my phone seems to have survived. After wiping it down with Clorox wipes & taking a hair dryer to it, it was acting a little weird. I thought it was a goner. But after it dried for another day, it may just be ok. Except that I’ll have nightmares that somehow toilet water is still trapped inside of it. Waiting to escape into my ear when I least expect it.

Ewww.

I’m so ready for a good week and/or spring to show it’s face around here.